When in Doubt

‘When doubts filled my mind, your comfort gave me renewed hope and cheer.’ - Psalm 94:19

Another day, and what I know for certain without a doubt is that I can see the world You created around me. I can easily close my eyes and hear the rhythms of Your unrivaled symphony all about me, I can taste the richness of Your bountiful nourishment which I have never been in want of, I can feel the softness of my favorite four legged pals and the gruffness of my husband's unshaven beard. Those are the easy no-doubters indeed. The tough ones are those that come in direct conflict and attempt to seize and bring down my faith like the wrecking ball bringing down yesterday’s obsolete downtown office building. Such as the wrecking ball of fear, as it brings doubts to Your promises, and then it continues it ravaging path down the road to bring doubts to my faith, capitulating with the voice of failure and that screaming, nagging, doubt that says ‘you’ll never amount to much, stop wasting your time, just give it up’. And alas, the king of all doubts, the wrecking ball that keeps me isolated in my corner, always doubting my worthiness and the direction of my next step. The gears seem to get stuck on that one all too often. But then You step in. Gently You remind me that doubt is natural. That without it our faith would have no foundations. You tell me in Your Word that faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see (Heb.11:1). You ask me to remember that guy named Thomas who doubted who You were even as You stood before him in his very presence. Yet, in his doubt, You did not scold him or turn away in contempt, but asked him to stop doubting and believe (Luke 20). You focused Your attention on him and asked him to examine for himself Your nail pierced hands and side -- the evidence set forth before him. In the same way, You ask me to bring my doubts to You, and You will listen and reassure me even as you did Thomas on that day…

Father God, I thank You that in my doubt You continually challenge me in a new way. I pray that through my doubts, I continually draw closer to You and not further away. Father I ask that as I desire to draw closer to You, that You give me the strength to trust You through the journey. I rejoice that no matter what my situation, You help me take that next step in faith. Even as Thomas did, I long to bring my doubts directly to You, and know that You will not leave me alone as I candidly pour out my heart to you. And as Thomas, give me the common sense to review the evidence set before me, remember Your faithfulness throughout the generations, and to go forth in firm and undeniable proclamation that You are indeed my Lord and my God! Amen